So one thing to know about me is that I don’t back down from a challenge, especially when it comes to dessert.  If you ask me if I can make XYZ out of cake or a cake pop shaped like LMNOP, the answer will be, “yes” followed by, “Fuck.  Can I make that???”————–Okay, that’s not completely true because I would never agree to make this:

 

Why?  Because—-dear god.  The thoughts running through my mind at this point are A) Why did someone want this as their wedding cake? #2) I wonder how many of her friends made that cake their Facebook status update during the reception and D) Did the groom contemplate raising his own hand when the minister asked who saw any reason that they should not be married?

Anyways, I was asked to make Angry Birds cake pops for a child’s birthday.  I’ve never played Angry Birds.  I don’t own an iPhone.  I literally just learned today that you can play this game on Google—is that it?  Google?  I barely knew what the characters looked like or what the point of the game was—something about a slingshot?  Why don’t these animals have bodies?  *sigh* Tangent. Sorry.  Nevertheless, I decided to give it a stab. 

I thought the decorating part would be relatively easy since I was certain I’d be able to find decorations small enough to use for eyes, feathers, etc, right? WRONG.  Every candy I found was way too big and I ended up making all of the features by hand, with the exception of the beaks and the breast feathers.  To make things suuuuper fun, my candy melts kept freezing up on me every 5 seconds.  It was either burn my hand off with a hot pastry bag or try to use hardened candy melts.  FML.  Each character was made out of coffee-infused chocolate cake with a milk chocolate buttercream…

A note about Groucho Marx Angry Bird below—apparently, he might have a case of rabies seeing as how he’s foaming at the beak a bit.  What do you want?  It was 5am, my vision wasn’t exactly 20/20. (For the record, this was an extra, so my rabies bird was not given to the customer.  COME ON PEOPLE.  I would never do that.  Rabies birds are reserved for special people.  Like friends.  Thought you knew :)


Groucho Marx Angry Bird:



 



24-hour Energy Blue Bird:

(For some reason, he looks like he’s taking a terrible yearbook photo in the 80’s.)

Botox Pig:



I’m pretty pleased with the outcome, but until I find candy pieces for pretty much all of the features within the Greater Los Angeles Area, these little babies are getting shelved.  Oh, Angry Birds, we hardly knew ye. 

P.S.–As a reminder, I had to do some research when it came to these cake pops, so i Googled “Angry Bird Cake Pops” and I came up with the loveliness below.  I die laughing everytime I look at them—and even more when I read the blog they were featured in—oh, the typos.  Buuuuuut, I’m not a total a**hole, so I won’t embarrass the mother who made them.  Please note, that these were made FOR a kindergarten class, not made BY A KINDERGARTENER.  In cakewrecks-style, I had to share the beauties below:

Unibrow Angry Bird

Zombie blue bird

4th Degree Burn Victim Piggy

(When using candy melts, you need to melt them BEFORE you attempt to assemble a cake pop, not AFTER)

Where’s Ernie, Bert?

*sigh*

*continued sigh*

I just don’t understand how anyone would allow these to leave their home.  Hopefully, Mommy just blamed the kids but seeing as how proud she was to share these with the world, I’m gonna go with nooooooooooo.

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